Sorry to disappoint you, but these are not photos of me. The advent of the mobile phone/camera has
meant that I can at last capture for posterity some of the absurd things that delight me almost daily.
Unfortunately, I was not able to get a photo of a road sign I saw in Australia that read:-
NO PINEAPPLES BEYOND THIS POINT
(I'm sure there is a very good reason for it) or the sign on a new motorway near London:-
EMERGENCY TOILETS 20 MILES
or a sign on a bridge in Munich which reads (in translation):-
YOU JUMP OFF THIS BRIDGE AT YOUR OWN RISK
Anyway, here are few I managed to snap. The quality is not good in all cases, but they are all equally ridiculous!
If you have similar photos that you would like to add to this page, I'd be delighted to
add them with a suitable credit. Please e-mail a jpeg to PhilSparke@ntlworld.com
And you cant spell
No comment needed
Saw this slot machine in Vegas and it summed the
town up. Why not use a picture of the Sphinx?
Not a humourous photo but this is the new Wembley
Stadium's first public event. (I went as I live two
minutes away from it).
The original stadium had hotels and a conference
centre and would cost £650,000,000. "Too expensive"
the Government said, "Let's just have a stadium".
They redesigned it and it cost £750,000,000
Never tried squah - suppose it's a bit like squash
When I saw this, I was convinced 'queueing' was
misspelt. But the dictionary says you can apparently
spell it however you like! There is no right way.
Sign at a not-very-good hotel near my home. The
buffet must be spectacular!
ONE YEAR LATER
They seem to have had a change of policy. I hope
the quality hasn't suffered......
I wish I could tell you these cats are called Yin and
Yang, but they're not!
(from Hiromi Kurosawa)
Sad ! Sometimes life is like that........
These days there are so many things we're not
allowed to do, it's refreshing to know that it's OK
to speak to the driver's vision while the bus is not
Not a photo, but a genuine letter from the Arkansas
Democrat newspaper 24th April 2007..................
Whoever put the first lamp-post in did a good job.
Whoever put the second one in should have really
made a couple of phone calls first.....
Shop sign in Cairo - I'm sure they don't mean they
want to stop all those things (maybe they do?) and
it's a cheap shot to criticise their spelling as my Arabic
is also a bit rusty, but you'd think that Pepsi (who
presumably paid for the sign) could do better, wouldn't you?
Or perhaps they can't spell Coke, either...........
Now appearing all over London, these new pedestrian
signals are aimed at reducing congestion in our capital
by painlessly eliminating confused tourists.
That's right - self-belief can work wonders.....
Whoever decided on this domain name (found on a
tennis net) was a bright cookie - love it!
Couldn't quite get a photo of Harrow's local villains
quaking in their boots - or were they simply shaking
Call me old-fashioned, but I think £5.95 is a tad
too much for a free drink a and fine burger, no matter
how fine it may be.
At £9999.00, this seems a bit expensive to me - as well as a bit
dangerous to have about the house. Much as I'd love a priceless Vampire
Varghulf, I think I'll stick to hamsters .... as he probably does.
I suppose it doesn't actually say '24 hours a day' .....
The lower sign is, I grant you, meant to be helpful - but it's not that
difficult to work out!
I despair about this one! We are all used to firms using numbers for
words:- Phones4U or Buy2Save for example - but this is incredible!
To explain a little, those blessed with a 'London' accent (and all
footballers, apparently) pronounce 'three' as 'free' so the above is:-
Flow Free Drains and Freephone... I can't bear to say any more....
Sorry about the quality of this one, but the words on this helicopter
in our wonderful Royal Air Force Museum read:-
WARNING KEEP CLEAR OF ROTOR BLADES
I'd have thought this would be covered in basic training to the point that
it wasn't actually necessary to paint this on the helicopters themselves......
The Norwegians are really great! The city of Stavanger has a small
harbour. These steps lead down to the water and the burghers
have kindly put in little steps so the ducks can climb out. Love it !!
What can I say? You can't say it's not 100% accurate....
You can't be too careful, can you?
I feel I'm missing out here. I need a detailed list at the very least.....
Quite right, too! All the more space for me!!
Moscow is also a small village in Scotland. I thought this was delightful!
They should add "Please do not spy"
I have a love/hate relationship with British Airways. They opened
Terminal 5 at Heathrow in 2008 (a bit of a mess) but never-the-less
had the chance to design it from scratch. The could have anything they
wanted. Why on earth they wanted life-sized horses with lamps on their
heads to adorn their Business Lounge I have yet to find out!
Continuing the above theme, only in Terminal 5 could north and south
be in the same direction.....
Here are three lovely contributions sent from Australia by Tim Wilson..
and don't drink if you're in charge of a road sign making machine!
can't do this, can't do that ! :(
knowledge is power ..........
this is clearly not the case! (from Martin Green)
A bit of punctuation would have helped here!
I thought it said "No parking vehicles will be
clamped" ...... and got clamped :(
This is either a bad idea (a play on the word
'ease') or just bad spelling. Neither is good!
Our NHS (National Health Service) is facing
budget cuts, but this seems, on the face of it,
to be one step too far......
Helpful article from The Basingstoke and Deane Council Magazine
Q What plastics can I recycle?
A. At present in Basingstoke and
Deane, we can only recycle plastic
bottles. We are unable to recycle other
plastic packaging, such as margarine tubs
or yoghurt pots.
If unsure, ask yourself two questions: is the
item a bottle? Is the item plastic? If the
answer to both questions is 'yes' then you
can recycle it.
Part of the new Tesco 'Past Their Best' range
(from Carolyn Chandler)
except for the chosen few, of course....
except for the chosen few, of course....
I think that managing to make three spelling
mistakes in what should be 8 words deserves some
sort of award!
Always my favourite type of entrance....
This car appeared in a wall round the corner from my house.
Yet to be fully explained, but local rumour was that it is a Chinese
take-away delivery car. Door-to-door service!
This mess is apparently a chips, cheese and coleslaw sandwich.
Who dreamt that one up???
No comment (thanks to Kristin Jensen Alle)
Not quite sure what to say about this one!